INTRODUCTION
I did not spend my entire summer in California just seeing doctors. Occasionally I did some other things, like catch up with friends from college and experience the great outdoors. I also visited with my relatives and read a lot of novels, although neither of those things are too exciting to read about. So, I will stick to what I did with friends and what I did outside.
BUT NO FREE BEATS OR PRUNE JUICE
During the middle of my trip I went to San Diego, where my friend Lindsay lives. Lindsay runs psychological tests on senior citizens and occasionally the senior citizens give her things. So while I was visiting, Lindsay offered me some free bran flakes and discount lunch coupons. I passed on those, but when tickets to the USS Midway came, up things were a different story. Once, when I was much younger, I was in Alaska for the summer and an aircraft carrier came to town. My parents and aunts and uncles did a fantastic job of getting me and my cousins excited to tour it, they loaded us up in cars, drove us to the water, marched us down the dock, marched us up a plank, and then the sailors marched me and only me back down the plank because I was too little to go on the ship. It was after that incident that I swore I would spend the next twenty-two years of my life growing to be as tall as possible. And thus I am tall today.
The USS Midway sailed from 1945 to 1992, after which it was decommissioned and moved to downtown San Diego. Tourists can now explore it for a small fee, or if you have elderly connections, for free. Overall my experience on the ship was fantastic, although the low ceilings and doorways did get annoying; perhaps I was a little overzealous in my growth. Interestingly, a retired navy cook told us that all of the other ships in the USS Midway’s class have much higher decks. Right before the ship was complete the engineers got nervous; they had never made such a tall ship before and they worried that it would tip easily. As a result, they sunk every level of the USS Midway down by about a head’s length. Later, they realized that tall ships do not readily topple, built every other aircraft carrier to normal size, and if there is a hint as to why the ship was retired early I think that is it; it is a ship for the vertically challenged.
HE SHOULD ALSO ADD A ZIP-LINE
While in San Diego I also visited my friend Dave. Dave is a very interesting and very fun guy who happens to live in a warehouse. When I showed up he asked me if I wanted to watch a movie and I said that a movie sounded fine. So, he handed me a paint brush and we painted a large white rectangle on one of the warehouse’s inside walls. Once done Dave he setup a projector and I have to admit, living in a warehouse has its advantages. In addition to the “screen,” the more unusual features of Dave’s home include his bedroom, which is a loft, his bathroom, which is only accessible by a sweet, rounded door, and his living room, which is also where he parks his motorcycles. Next to the living area Dave setup a surfboard shop, and when I was visiting plans were in the works for cutting a hole in the ceiling, for easier roof access. I suggested he add a fireman’s pole to. Yes, my friend Dave pretty much lives in a fort.
LOOK FOR THE ALLITERATION AND PUN
One of the other fun things I did in California was go hiking with my friend Condi, trips which were new in some ways and typical in others. On the new side, I saw my second ever rattlesnake in the wild, despite, I know, having grown up in a rural area. I was walking in front of Condi down a path and what I thought was a stick turned out not to be a stick. I jumped and screamed and I think scared my hiking companion quiet badly, though I am sure he would agree that being scared is better than being bitten by something venomous. Oddly, the rattlesnake never rattled, and in the end we had to hit it with branches to get it out of our way. As the snake silently and sedately slithered off I was tempted to grab it; a snake docile enough to practice the grab-behind-the-neck-maneuver on is a rare find indeed. Not wanting to freak Condi out, however, I resisted and kept my hands to myself. I regret that decision now.
On the typical side, Condi and I ended another day spent in the wilderness by thumbing a ride, because just about every time we ever go regular hiking we end up getting lost. On the same trail that ran us into the rattlesnake we took a wrong turn. Rather than backtrack after we figured out what had happened, we cut a route off-trail which eventually put us onto a road right when a car drove by. The car turned out to be full of hippies that we had ran into earlier that day, when we summited the mountain we were on and were welcomed by the stench of burning marijuana, body odor, and potpourri. The hippies were pretty high, in two different ways, when we first met them. By the time they drove up to us later, however, in that day they seemed ok. Desperate, we pilled in back with all of their dogs and they took us where we needed to go. Which goes to show, that say what you want against hippies, but they are always super friendly.
CONCLUSION
And that is the abbreviated summary of things I did in California while not visiting doctors.
PICTURE
My feet after one of my hiking trips with Condi.
